30 Mar Fake it till you make it?
In Hooked on Leadership we develop the three tenets of leadership – Certainty, Presence and Service.
I was asked recently ‘How do I choose presence over fear?’ and it reminded me of one of the key messages we landed on together at the end of one of our ‘Hooked On Leadership’ workshops.
A lot of the time in conversations about confidence and certainty we throw out the old ‘Fake it till you make it’ phrase. Now the intent is pure as it represents having a go, moving through uncertainty, and acting with confidence even if we don’t have all the steps or knowledge, but I have issue with the word ‘Fake’. Fake implies we’re hiding something that is missing, and this leads to more fear about being found out!
If we want to drive true authentic connection and leadership we don’t want the word ‘fake’ taking up any residence in our heads.
How about instead we hold true that our beingness is enough? This has a myriad of meanings that can serve us in some way.
It can mean that our state of being, i.e. presence, is a gift that can serve others. Or that our state of being allows us to see possibilities to help us on our journey. Or that human beingness at its rawest is a learning machine if we open ourselves up to the answers within, and that can take us anywhere. Or how about ‘being’ what we want to achieve will get us there – act ‘as if’ now. If your goal is to be an executive leader are you ‘being’ one right now?
The horses knew when we were faking it, when we didn’t dig deep enough into being present, and our people know too. They also know when we become rigidly attached to an outcome at the exclusivity of everything else. If in these moments we don’t move into a ‘being state’ we miss the opportunity to meet the horse (or person!) where they are at, and move forward with them, not through them.
So let’s focus on our beingness is enough, and using it as a way to serve those around us. This then moves us into presence and away from fear.